Do you remember the old guy Curly in the movie “City Slickers”? He says that the meaning of life is just ONE thing, but that ONE thing is different for everyone. Each of us has to figure out what our one thing is. Talking with my friend Lara last week, my one thing became very clear. Sure, I’ve sorta, kinda known for a long time, but I was never able to exactly articulate it the way I can now. And the most interesting thing is that, even though I might not have been fully consciously aware, this one thing was still driving my actions and was the unrealized purpose underlying Zen Rabbit.
So what is it already you ask. It’s creating and maintaining close relationships. Were you expecting something more earth shattering? Last year I saw results of a survey that said 25% of Americans don’t have a single friend in whom they can confide. And more than 50% have only one or two especially close friends. The study offered lots of speculation as to why these numbers are so low, but the bottom line is it’s very sad. That’s a lot of loneliness and disconnection.
We’ve all been caught up in getting through the day. But then that one day turns into getting through the week and through the month, etc. Pretty soon it’s ten or twenty years later and you’re completely out of touch with everyone. And the reason you’ve allowed yourself to get out of touch is that you got lazy. OUCH! Are you insulted now? Yes, I said you got lazy. You’ll rephrase it as “busy,” but the ugly truth is you allowed other things to take priority.
And since they don’t call you, your friends are lazy too. Because you come home from work exhausted and throw yourself in front of the TV to veg instead of picking up the phone to connect. I totally understand the appeal of the vegetative state. I also understand the greater importance of not choosing that option, at least not every night.
For my 40th birthday (I know, I know. I can hardly believe it myself!), my husband and I went to the Washington, D.C. area, where we had lived for 13 years. He threw a surprise party for me and more than 30 friends who live locally showed up. Now the remarkable thing is that we moved away ten years ago. And I still have close friendships with that many people there. It’s been important to me to stay in touch with them and they’ve told me that it’s been important to them that I stay in touch, even if they don’t make the effort. I tell you this not to brag that I’m so great and have so many friends, but to make a point.
If most people can’t even make an effort to maintain close friendships, how are they ever going to manage to develop and sustain relationships with clients?! And as every businessperson knows, if you can’t keep clients, you really don’t have much chance for a strong and prosperous business.
Fortunately for you, our paths have crossed somewhere in time. I just finished sharing with you that maintaining close relationships is my “Curly’s ONE thing.” That’s what I’m good at and love to do. Maybe it’s not so easy for you, so let me help you. Together we can ensure that the people important to your success feel appreciated.